I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
