Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
