You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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