Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
