haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
