Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize