there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize