Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
