you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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