Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
