Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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