You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
