how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
