have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
