Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
