Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
