He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
