dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
