I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
