The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
