I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize