do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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