She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
