that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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