I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
