Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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