Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
