did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
