Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
