smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
