We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
