so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bring me that man meat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
