We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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