Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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