Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
