just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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