I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
there was a trapeze. enough said
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
