you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
