I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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