Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
