Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
