From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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