Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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