like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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