I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
