If that was your dad, he is hot
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just tell him i said nine months
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
third nipple confirmed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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