dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
