I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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