I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
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i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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