If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
