Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
