So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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