All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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