You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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