When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
