First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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