you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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