I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
