Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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