I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize