I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Be still, my beating vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
