just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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