just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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